The fundamentals
The five negotiation styles (Thomas-Kilmann)
Faced with disagreement, everyone has a default mode. The Thomas-Kilmann model distinguishes five, along two axes: assertiveness and cooperativeness. None is good in the absolute; the art is choosing according to the stakes.
The five modes
High assertiveness, low cooperativeness. You play to win. Useful when the stakes outweigh the relationship, or under time pressure.
High on both. You solve it together. The most value-creating mode, but costly in time and trust.
Middling on both. You split the difference. Fast, but it often leaves value on the table.
Low on both. You sidestep or postpone. Sensible when the stakes are minor or tempers need to cool.
High cooperativeness, low assertiveness. You give in to protect the relationship or build goodwill.
No style is the right one
The trap is always using the same mode, the one your temperament pushes you towards. A good negotiator diagnoses the situation (the stakes, the relationship, the time available) and picks the style accordingly, switching mid-course if needed.
Sources
- Kenneth Thomas and Ralph Kilmann, Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (1974).
- Robert Blake and Jane Mouton, the managerial grid (1964), which the model draws on.